Now, everyone is trying to navigate the level of conflicting threat in a way that used to be specific to those populations, she said. Cues that used to be neutral or positive like being around other people (I love my friends and family!) Now involved in danger (My friends and family can infect me with Kovid!). And we face the challenge of setting off that alarm. “What is a true alarm and what is a false alarm has become more confusing for all of us,” Dr. Kessen said.
So how do we want to be together?
Allow yourself to set small, achievable goals. And accept that other people are going to get different reactions from you – friends or family members who want to eat inside the restaurant when you don’t want to, for example, or who board a plane and take a vacation is ready.
Acknowledge that some activities may seem daunting for a while. One hour driving to the meeting. Fly a red eye for a conference. Family reunions a month, say, or attending four epidemic-postponed weddings.
All of this may prompt you to ask your family or your boss or even yourself: “Is it really worth the time?” And “Now I know things can be different, do I want to go back to my old life?”
Recovering does not mean you go back the way you were before Kintsugi, The Japanese technique of repairing broken pots with gold, as an analogy for coming out of hard times with an awareness of change, and stronger than before. “It’s that you create a new normal, one that is functional and beautiful – and different.”
Dr. Keltner agreed that we might need to “re-educate ourselves” – “like, how do we embrace again?” Your time may be off for a hug, or a joke or a compliment. “How do you look at someone so that it does not intrude? How do you praise someone? You may not have done it for a year. “
Rather than being overwhelmed by seeing everything at once – for example, going to a party where you have to interact with greeting acquaintances, have a meal with others, and try to talk small things – all in one. Why not combine all things step by step in time? This moment can be an opportunity.