‘Right Now Feels So Long and Without Any End in Sight’

As the reality of the indefinite psychological marathon descended, many journal writers began to count her blessings, in entries interspersed with both gratitude and fear.

“There has been a lot of damage in the last months, including transport on public buses, washing of bikes in the form of bike rides, the library is closed. … when I heard that it could go on for another year, I was disappointed. But I am taking it once a day and am thankful that I can pay my bills, I have a roof over my head, and have so far found out how to get food. ”- Retired woman in her 70s, from Michigan.

In his preliminary analysis, Drs. Mason and Drs. Villain found that expressions of guilt, privilege, and gratitude emerge early in the epidemic, and appear in one of about 530 English-language contributors overall. Ten of these diarists devoted most of their entries to thank-what they have, and to see what they took.

Dr. Mason said, “Some of these white liberals are crimes, okay when it’s not like that.” “But we have a lot of people of color who are not privileged, and they feel guilt for a slightly different reason. They see family members dying, losing jobs and unable to pay rent. “

“The world feels like it is getting stuck again with the killing of black and brown people by the police, the children have killed innocent protesters, the teachers are afraid to go to schools, the economy is constantly falling, a storm . It’s heavy … We are all sick of this. “- a non-profit activist and mom in her 40s from New Jersey

Over the summer, the Kovid-19 outbreak spread to most parts of the country, even as Black Lives Matter protesters took to the streets in more than 400 cities and towns. By August, California was in flames, which devastated one of the worst wildfires on record. And all of this seemed to fuel more for an increasingly bad, deeply polarized presidential campaign that peaked in September and October.

Many people, especially younger diarists, were ready to scream. “At this point, as selfish or whatever it may sound, I’d rather be homeless than spend another day in this house,” wrote one young woman, a student in her late teens, from New York. . “It may sound dramatic and I’m annoying, but I’m done with it.”

The magazines swollen and recurred like a living organism, furthering a growing sense that the world was coming away from its ghats. Another woman, a software engineer from the 50s in California, wrote, “The record temperatures recorded in Death Valley remind me not to forget about feeling frustrated about the climate crisis.” “The epidemic has made everything feel like it is falling apart.”

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