Scenes From a Marriage, Patinkin-Style

Mandy Patinkin and Catherine Grody have been together since their first date nearly 43 years ago, a giddy day-long romance through Greenwich Village that began with brunch and ended with them on a roadside. “I’m going to marry you,” he announced. “You’re going to get hurt, because I’m not going to marry anyone,” he replied.

They were married two years later, in 1980. But like many long-lived couples, their partnership has also declined because they are far away from each other. Grody, 74, is an OB Award-winning actress and writer; 68-year-old Patinkin finished the final season of “Homeland” last year and spent the weekend between 2019 and early 2020 30-city concert.

In March, he left Manhattan in his cabin for New York and hugged, like many of us, a few different: months of uninterrupted time. The result is a matter of public record, as their wedding scenes – all in their talkative, clumsy, emotional, affectionate glory – are all on social media, courtesy of their son Gideon, 34, who began recording them for fun and Then realized there was a huge demand for Patinkin related material.

For months, people scrolled through Twitter, Instagram and TickTock to watch Grody and Patinkin’s debate, around Declaim, Snuggle, Bicker, Horse, play with their dog, Becky, obsessive about politics and His (knowledge of such topics) exhibited text-to-speech and New York Pizza Rat. More recently, the world has followed them His first dose of vaccine (“One of the few benefits of getting older,” Patinkin wrote).

Now, as they all near the first anniversary of that solidarity, they say they feel lucky to be together, except for their older son, Isaac, who lives in Colorado and recently married. “There’s no question there,” Patinkin said. “Living with my family for 11 months has been one of the true gifts of my life.”

As this phase of the epidemic nears its end, do they plan to turn their unlikely social-media fame into a family sitcom or reality TV show? No, says Gideon, although he has questioned endlessly. For one thing, his parents can barely operate the video functions on his phone, and eventually he has to leave it on his devices again. “Once the world is vaccinated and life is back in vogue, I may have to teach them how to make selfie videos,” he said. “It must be something.”

After the first few videos last spring, Gridi asked Gideon not to portray him as an “adorable old couple”. “You have to raise some of our annoyance there,” he told her.

What an annoyance? In the duel interview, the couple described several ways to tease each other. The way Patinkin scorns his wife for collecting old newspapers, such as a hoarder. Grody hates how, when she fails to answer her husband’s call, she constantly – three, four, five times – until she picks up. He likes podcasts; He loves to repair the house. He is a “social maniac”, Patinkin said; “He likes humanity in general, but very few specific people,” said Grody.

In one video, they tell Gideon how they are Celebrated their anniversary Tomorrow.

“It started cute, and turned into an absolute fight,” Patinkin says. “We both lost.”

“I apologize and said Dad cried,” Grody says. “We are always connected through crying.”

The response was so positive, with people posting that the couple reminded them of themselves or their parents or only brought happiness in a dark time, that Gideon now limited other young adults in the home to adopt similar projects Recommends “I was amazed at how much I could get out of them,” he said.

His efforts expanded through this summer and election. Patinkin has long volunteered for the International Rescue Committee, a nonprofit humanitarian organization, and Gideon encouraged his parents to use his growing social media base – now 250,000-plus on Twitter , 155,000-plus on Instagram, 940,000-plus for Tiktok – is to work for the presidential and Democratic candidates in the Senate election.

The couple participated in virtual fund-raisers; Did endless phone banking; Danced, Sang, Cooked and goofy around. Enlisting the services of writer and director Even Wright, He recorded Tiktok campaign spots, in one of which Patinkin asked young people to vote for their parents and grandparents, and then A remix of the song “Stand By Me.”

Mysteriously for him, some of his videos have been seen More than a million times.

“I don’t understand this stuff,” said Grody, who can be seen on a video Tell me what she thinks Tiktok Is: “a communication tool” that “encourages young people to meet different types of other youth.”

Throughout, Gideon kept filming, which has turned into a complex wedding portrait.

It has not been without its adversities. (“They are an exquisite mess, but they have a deep rich pleasure,” is how Gideon put it.) For one thing, Patinkin has a self-proclaimed mood. Once, he was related, he was so obnoxious in the car en route to meet a relative that Gideon, then a teenager, said, ‘Dad, if you can’t take it together, don’t come in. “(He didn’t come in.) One more time, he felt so trapped and paranoid before Thanksgiving – A difficult time of year for him – That he decided to fly to New Orleans to separate his family, only to change his mind and demand, to get out of the plane before successfully flying.

“Everyone in the family knows that I am a (synonymous with jerks),” said Patinkin. “But they know me and they love me and they forgive me, and that’s why I feel safe.” The word ‘safe’ is an operative word at the moment. “

By that he meant the epidemic, and how lucky it is to be with someone who makes you feel safe in times of insecurity.

Patinkin said of his wife, “There have been many times throughout this period that sometimes I don’t even know what they think.

“I married a woman who knew a boy was crazy, and she loves me and stands by me and educated me and politicized me,” he continued.

Or, as Grody said: “I used to say I was going to marry a rock, so I could go crazy, but instead I married a lunar and I had to become a rock.”

They separated twice during their marriage, once for six months, the other for eight months.

“We used to talk to each other every day; We saw each other every day. “We can’t separate.”

“It was ridiculous, to tell you the truth,” Grody said. “I’d say, ‘Don’t you know we’re going to be different?’ The harder our problems were, the more difficult it was to live without each other. “

They like to describe how they met. They told the story in separate interviews, each stating that others would focus on completely different details.

Her version includes informing her future husband in 7Up Professional, 1970, a full eight years before they met. He then revisited his debut theater performance – Premiere in 1975. “Trolavny of Wales, “Which also had Meryl Streep, Mary Beth Hurt, and John Lithgow. That young Patinkin appeals from afar that he turned to her then boyfriend and said,” She’s my type – what am I doing to you? “

Patinkin’s version includes how she went to her house for dinner soon after her fateful initial brunch and found that she stored her sweater in the oven while living in a small walk-up in Little Italy. Following a miss-a-recipe, she served him chicken covered in raw bacon.

“I felt that I had lost my mind,” he said. “I was knocked out by him.”

Patinkin brought up “The Princess Bride”, in which he played the role of Inigo Montoya, a gladiator trying to avenge his father’s death – and who is about finding true love at heart.

“I have found true love,” he said, “and first and foremost, I have it with my wife.”

Grody feels the same way.

“When I look at Mandy, I see all the mandis I’ve ever known, from the person she met to the person she is now,” she said. “I still love her face.”

In November, the couple Appeared together in a video For the Jewish Democratic Council of America. He broke the election results, encouraging everyone to stay safe. And then he sang “Sameer Over Rainbow” in Yiddish, as his wife sat quietly beside him.

“Over the years someone is known, and has to live this life together, and have faced the cruelty of intimacy – it’s a courageous thing,” she said. “It’s a surprising thing.”

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