Team Molly: The Family After Molly Steinsapir’s Death

Caught in the front seat of the ambulance, as her daughter was injured in the back, Kei Steinsapir took out her phone and began typing.

“Please. Please. Please,” she wrote in part. “Everyone prays for my daughter Molly. She has been in an accident and suffered a brain stroke.” Later that day, Ronald Reagan UCLA At the medical center, he Tweeted His message.

Her daughter, 12, was injured while riding a bicycle with a friend near the family’s home in Los Angeles. 43-year-old Ms. Steinspear said she was interested in a device that would allow her pleas to reach audiences as quickly as possible.

“I was so helpless,” she said in an interview on Thursday. “I just wanted to broadcast to those who could lift Molly in prayer and raise me in prayer as well.”

The Kovid-era rules of the hospital initially prevented her and her husband, Jonathan Steinspear, from living together on Molly’s bed. The first day of hospitalization, Mr. Steensapyr spent at home with his two sons, while Ms. Steensapire stayed in the intensive care unit with her daughter.

“There were so many hours in the hospital, waiting, waiting, and nothing,” she said. In the darkest moments of panic or uncertainty, she reached the Internet. “So many people shared their stories of surviving a traumatic brain injury,” Ms. Steensapire, a lawyer as is her husband.

“Hopefully, all these strangers gave us what kept us going. If we did not have that expectation, I do not know how we would be able to do for Molly and her parents for her parents.

He did not have much experience on Twitter. Like many parents, she had shared family photos in a small circle on Facebook and Instagram, but in the months before the most recent presidential election, she began spending more time on Twitter following news sources and politicians . She barely knew how to tweet.

Turning on her phone to express her determination, anguish and fear, it never occurred to her that she would spend 16 days among thousands of strangers around the world talking about life, death, family, religion and rituals. The conversation will start.

Alana NicholsA doctor and lawyer in Birmingham, Ala., Checked into Ms. Steinspear every day. “As a mother, I was drawn to her vulnerability and her strengths, and how she turned Twitter into a positive tool of connection and hope,” she said.

This year, Drs. Nichols said, elections, reactions to Most recent Black Lives Matter movement And the epidemic has transformed the Internet into a market of anger and vitriol.

“Social media can be so toxic and a catastrophic event can put you in this place of total helplessness,” she said. “But Kaye gave us a way to help. He told us that we could pray for him and his daughter. Our nation is divided on everything that is happening right now and here you have yet another tragedy – but it has the opposite effect. “

Coronovirus epidemic With the forces of isolation and grief, technology and social media have left Americans with And messed up With the rites of death. Kovid goodbyes are regularly said through FaceTime, with hospital staff using phones and tablets to help family members with bedside wiggles and eventual goodbyes.

Broadway actor Nick Corodo became ill with coronavirus in March and was hospitalized for months before dying in July. Amanda clots, His wife attracted a global online audience of millions, who prayed, sang, mourned with her at the end. “I just wanted to share because it’s important to talk about grief, especially in times where a lot of people are suffering from loss right now.” He said In a video

Later last year, model and actress Chrissy Teigen created a The national Dialogue about the comfort of our culture with the public sharing of death and tragedy when she took photos of herself, her husband John Legend, and their baby Jack on Instagram, who were born and died prematurely.

“I can’t express how little I care that you hate photographs,” Ms. Teagan wrote an essay Later that month. “How little I care that this is something you wouldn’t have done. I lived this, I chose to do it, and more than a few, these photos are not for anyone but people who live that way Or curious to know what something like that is. These photos are only for those who need them. “

Laurie Kilmartin, a writer for “Conan,” Live-tweeted Her mother’s last days before she died of complications of coronovirus in June. Ms. Kilmartin tweeted in 2014 about her father’s deterioration and death from lung cancer and gave even more encouragement to realize that her mother was dying, due to a combination of grief and isolation. “What’s so terrible about Kovid is that you’re completely alone,” she said. “You have your phone.”

Ms. Kilmartin followed Ms. Steinspear’s story on Twitter and understood, from her own experiences, a desire to share in real time. “In a typical situation, 20 family members would move around to support her and her husband,” Ms. Kilmartin said. “I’m glad he had the internet to lay his hands on.”

Ms. Steensapir also explained to her followers why she was letting strangers pass on the experience. “Writing and sharing my pain helps ease it,” he wrote. “When I am sitting here in this sterile room after hour, your messages of hope make me feel alone. Even my husband, who is very private, likes to read. “

In what became a short-form diary, Ms. Steinspear provided an unpublished account of the realities of witnessing a medical crisis marked by the endless hours of waking up of her daughter, who was then beset by a sudden disaster.

She praised her daughter’s doctors and nurses, worried about her two young sons, Nate and Ellie, and told the Internet about her daughter, an environmentalist and animal lover, from being a vegetarian before being in kindergarten. Who was devoted to Judaism and feminism (she pronounced “he / her” for God) and who dreamed of becoming a theater actress and a politician.

Like Ms. Teigen, Ms. Steenspear pushes against those who criticize her. “Trust me, I wish I would have been doing anything but praying to save my daughter on Twitter,” she replied.

But mostly he called for support through prayer. God had attracted attention Melissa Jones, A mother in grasshopper grove, Ga. To read and reply to every tweet, even being friendly with those who were following closely.

Ms. Jones said, “She cried with the confidence I had, who said she loved a family.” “The Internet is a terrible place right now, the Trump years were very divisive and people are very ugly for the last four years, but Molly’s spirit brings confidence and goodness in people.”

Ms. Jones had also faced the possibility of losing a child when her son was seriously injured. “My son was in a coma for 11 days and I had a surprise,” is my baby going to wake up and am I going to take them back? I knew exactly where the body is, ”she said.

On February 15, Ms. Stenispir announced that Molly had died.

“While our hearts are broken in a way it feels like they can never reconcile, we are comfortable knowing that Molly’s 12 years were full of love and happiness. We are very blessed to be his parents, ”she wrote.

She agreed to talk to a reporter amid her family’s mourning, she said, because Molly wanted her to console the millions of Americans who have lost loved ones in the past year.

“I want to communicate to people that we respect everyone who is grieving and want to share with them the light and love that Molly was shown,” she said.

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